


bats, birds and terrible children; a twitter fic

by caesarjoestar



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Bisexual Dick Grayson, Bisexual Stephanie Brown, Bisexual Tim Drake, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Damian Wayne, Gay Jason Todd, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Cassandra Cain, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Jason Todd, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Social Media, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Stephanie Brown, Twitter, just so you know theres going to be many holy musical b@man references, straight ppl dont exist lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-02-29 03:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18769930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caesarjoestar/pseuds/caesarjoestar
Summary: Nightwing gets a Twitter account and it all goes wrong from there.





	1. damn, this bird is kinda hot

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [twitter is onto something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625167) by [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/pseuds/pomegranateboy). 



**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
This seems like it could be fun.

 

**SKELETRON @duwangking**   
wait nightwing has a twitter?????? 

 

**lotti @deercafe**   
how do we know this the real nightwing? 

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official** **  
** [Selfie of Nightwing in full costume smiling and doing a peace sign at the camera.]

 

**SKELETRON @duwangking**   
HOLY FUCK MUM GET THE CAMERA

 

**Nightwing’s Ass Daily @nightwingsassdaily**   
Oh my fucking God he’s even cuter than I could even imagine    
and I have an account dedicated to his ass.

 

**Oracle @Oracle**   
B isn’t going to very happy about this. @Nightwing_Official

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
What B doesn’t know can’t hurt him. @Oracle 

 

**Oracle @Oracle**   
Yes well, you see the thing is that Robin has already told him. @Nightwing_Official

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
God damn it, of course, he did that little demon child

 

**lotti @deercafe**   
wait whos @Oracle?

 

**Oracle @Oracle**   
@deercafe I’m the only reason any of these Bats are still alive.

 

**Nightwing’s Ass Daily @nightwingsassdaily**   
Oh? We stan? @Oracle

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
We absolutely stan @Oracle, @nightwingsassdaily

  
**NIGHTWING REPLIED TO ME @nightwingsassdaily**   
OMFG HE REPLIED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. im about to end this mans whole career

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**   
haha for once it wasn’t me who b screamed at for   
doing something stupid

 

 **Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
But you just made an account too, so he’s going to   
shout at you too?? @TheRedHood

 

 **Red Hood @TheRedHood** **  
** im used to it @Nightwing_Official

 

 **hurricane tortilla @xxjen**   
wait, i thought @TheRedHood is a crime lord? why is   
he friends with @Nightwing_Official

 

 **Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
We’re brothers :) @xxjen

 

 **hurricane tortilla @xxjen**   
holy shit wow i did not expect that. hey @Nightwing_Official   
does this mean batman is your dad?

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

Yep! @xxjen

 

 **Red Hood @TheRedHood**   
motherfucker did you just… @Nightwing_Official

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

Did I what? @TheRedHood

 

 **Red Hood @TheRedHood** **  
** we’re not suppose to tell people that… @Nightwing_Official

 

 **Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
Fuck.

 

* * *

 

**Vicki Vale @vickivale**

New just in: Nightwing confirms that not only are he and   
famed crime lord, Red Hood, are brothers but that   
Batman is their father!

  
  
**NIGHTWING REPLIED TO ME @nightwingsassdaily** **  
** Batman: [Keeps everything about his identity   
and the identities of the other Bats a secret   
for 10+ years]   
  
Nightwing: [1 day after making a Twitter   
account]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dick honey im sorry i made stupid in this but i couldnt help myself


	3. that boi aint right

**Red Robin @therealrr**  
Pretty much just made an account so I can monitor   
my siblings lol

 **SKELETRON @duwangking**  
@therealrr yesssss more of the batfam

 **RedRobinFan172 @redrobinfan172**  
@therealrr OMG finally my fave hero is on here!!

 **lotti @deercafe**  
@therealrr did batman tell you to make an account  
so you could watch them or did you do it of your  
own accord?

 **Red Robin @therealrr**  
@deercafe A bit of both. B is convinced that Wing  
(or any of us really) should have social media but I  
told him that I'd watch over them. Also, they seem to   
be having fun haha

 **Red Hood @TheRedHood**  
@therealrr so u finally decided to join us babybird

 **Red Robin @therealrr**  
@TheRedHood Babybird? I'm pretty sure Robin is the baby  
of the family

 **Red Hood @TheRedHood**  
@therealrr that boy is no baby hes a demon in a childs body 

**Red Robin @therealrr**  
@TheRedHood Actually, no you're right he's evil incarnate 

**NIGHTWING REPLIED TO ME @nightwingsassdaily**   
@TheRedHood @therealrr Oh???? Robin is evil??? Spill the tea!

 **Red Hood @TheRedHood**  
@nightwingsassdaily that boi aint right. hes the worst child ive ever  
met. who knew such evil could be contained in such a tiny body

 **Red Robin @therealrr**  
@nightwingsassdaily He likes playing 'pranks' on me which include  
trying to poison my coffee with rat poison and throw knives at my  
head for 'practice'

 **NIGHTWING REPLIED TO ME @nightwingsassdaily**  
@TheRedHood @therealrr VGYHUJI THATS KINDA FUCKED UP

 **Red Hood @TheRedHood**  
@nightwingsassdaily nahhhhhhhhhh i think thats just how he shows  
his love

 **Red Robin @therealrr  
** @TheRedHood @nightwingsassdaily I don't think he's capable of love 

**Red Robin @therealrr**  
WHAT THE FUCK ROBIN JUST TEXTED ME MY CURRENT LOCATION RIGHT  
DOWN TO THE EXACT SPOT

 **Robin @RobinOfficial**  
Fear me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeehaw


	4. the gay agender

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
SOMEONE.

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
BROKE.   
  


**Red Robin @therealrr**   
THE.

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
COFFEE.   
  


**Red Robin @therealrr**   
MAKER.

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**   
@therealrr not it. i havent been home in a few weeks   
but i will help u find who did it >:)

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
@TheRedHood Thank you, you’re the only bitch I can   
trust in this fucking house

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
@Nightwing_Official Care to chat? :)

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
@therealrr Wasn’t me!! I’ve been with @Oracle all day so it wasn’t   
her either   
  


**Oracle @Oracle**   
@therealrr Can confirm, @Nightwing_Official and I have been at   
mine all day so it couldn’t of been us.

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
Thank you, @Oracle and @Nightwing_Official

 

**hurricane tortilla @xxjen**   
@therealrr omfg this tea is boiling hot

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
Now, @RobinOfficial. Talk.

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial**   
@therealrr As much as I love to prank you this is too far even    
for me.

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
@RobinOfficial I don’t believe you, give me proof

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial** **  
** @therealrr I don’t have any proof

 

**Red Robin @therealrr** **  
** @RobinOfficial SO YOU DID IT THEN?

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial**   
@therealrr No, I do have proof moron. I just can’t   
talk about it on here

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
@RobinOfficial Sure you can’t coward

 

**SKELETRON @duwangking**   
@RobinOfficial [eye emoji]

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial** **  
** @therealrr Fine! I went on a date with Superboy...

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
@RobinOfficial Oh. OH. 

 

**Red Robin @therealrr** **  
** @RobinOfficial CONGRATS! IM SO HAPPY FOR    
YOU!!!

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial**   
@therealrr Shut up.

 

**hurricane tortilla @xxjen** **  
** @therealrr i thought you hated him??

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
@xxjen I do but I can still feel happy for him

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood** **  
** @RobinOfficial i cant believe you got a bf before i did…

 

**NIGHTWING REPLIED TO ME @nightwingsassdaily**

@RobinOfficial @TheRedHood @therealrr @xxjen ARE WE   
GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT BOTH ROBIN AND RED   
HOOD JUST CAME OUT?????????!!!!!!!!!!

 

**hurricane tortilla @xxjen**   
@RobinOfficial @TheRedHood @therealrr @nightwingsassdaily    
OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED GVHBUHNIJOKP HOLY SHIT ONE   
OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US   
  


**Red Hood @TheRedHood**   
@xxjen @nightwingassdaily i am part of the gay agender and i    
am also a gay agender

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
@TheRedHood I didn’t know that you’re agender! I’m sorry I’ve    
been misgendering you for so long :( You should of told me!

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**   
Also, @RobinOfficial congrats on the date!     
  


**Red Hood @TheRedHood**   
@Nightwing_Official idk i just didnt think youd get it

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official** **  
** @TheRedHood Of course I get it! You’re my sibling and I    
love you <3

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**   
@Nightwing_Official shut up thats gay

 

**hurricane tortilla @xxjen**   
@TheRedHood wait. youre agender? omfg OMFG IM SO   
EXCITED!!! A HERO WHOS NB JUST LIKE ME

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**   
@xxjen well i class myself more as an antihero but yes!

 

* * *

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
So, I just saw the cutest shit

 

**Red Robin @therealrr** **  
** Batman just came up to Robin and gave him a hug telling   
him that he accepts him and his relationship with Superboy

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**   
Don’t tell Robin this but I saw him cry a little bit at that

 

**Red Robin @therealrr** **  
** Then B called Red Hood home and did the same thing,   
telling them that he accepts them and is sorry that he's   
been misgendering them this whole time

  
**Robin @RobinOfficial**   
@therealrr TAKE THAT BACK I DO NOT CRY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly longer and gay chapter this time 
> 
> i am absolutely in love with nb!jason so i had to add it to this fic haha


	5. red weeaboo

**sidney @queensid**   
omg guys red robin is a weeaboo

 

 **sidney @queensid**   
so like i almost got mugged last night. ik average   
night in gotham but red robin saved me! and offered   
to walk me home

 

 **sidney @queensid**   
so ofc i agreed bc i was shaken and hes tryin to   
comfort me by asking me stuff and then he asks   
“have u seen cowboy bebop”

 

 **sidney @queensid**   
so for the rest of the way home we discussed why   
cowboy bebop is one of the greatest anime to ever   
exist

 

 **sidney @queensid**   
so in conclusion: red robin is a weeb

 

 **Batgorl @batgirl**   
@queensid can confirm. i watched   
all of yu yu hakusho with him last year

 

 **Red Robin @therealrr**   
@queensid @batgirl Liking anime does  
not make me a weeaboo!

 

 **sidney @queensid** **  
** @therealrr weeaboo

 

 **Batgorl @batgirl**   
@therealrr weeaboo

 

**hurricane tortilla @xxjen**

@therealrr weeaboo

 

**SKELETRON @duwangking**

@therealrr weeaboo

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**

@therealrr weeaboo

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

@therealrr weeaboo

 

**Oracle @Oracle**

@therealrr weeaboo

 

 **Black Bat @blackbat**   
@therealrr weeaboo (I don’t know what   
this means, this just seems like fun!)

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial**

@therealrr Weeaboo

 

 **Red Robin @therealrr**  
I hate all of you.

 

* * *

 

**Batman @batman**

What is a “weeaboo”?

 

**NIGHTWING REPLIED TO ME @nightwingsassdaily**

@batman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey gang its feels good to post again. sorry i didnt post for a while. tbqh i wasnt ok. i was real depressed and not in a good place and although im still not fully out of it yet im starting to feel better. i also just had no idea for what to write too tbh. 
> 
> anyway i hope u liked this (sorry its a bit short)


	6. happy fuck batman day!

**Black Bat @blackbat**

@batman Happy Father’s day! I hope you   
have a wonderful day

 

**Batman @batman**

@blackbat Thank you very much, I look   
forward to seeing you today.

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial**

Happy Father’s day @batman, my gift to   
you is my presence. 

 

**Batman @batman**

@RobinOfficial ...Thank you

 

* * *

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**

happy fuck batman day!

 

**Batgorl @batgirl**

@TheRedHood rt

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**

@TheRedHood rt

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

@TheRedHood rt

 

**The Signal @SignalOfficial**

@TheRedHood rt

 

**Oracle @Oracle**

@TheRedHood rt

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial**

@TheRedHood rt

 

**Batman @batman**

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly at this point bruce wayne has been more of a father to me then my actual dad lmao


	7. you are my bro! mi amigo!

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

Buddies

 

**Oracle @Oracle**

Bros

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**

homies

 

**Red Robin @therealrr**

Amigos

 

**Batgorl @batgirl**

pizza

 

**Black Bat @blackbat**

Nintendo

 

**Robin @RobinOfficial**

Woo!

 

**Batwoman @RealBatwoman**

Woo!

 

**The Signal @SignalOfficial**

Woo!

 

**Terry Mcginnis @terrymcginnis**

Let’s go!

 

**Batman @batman**

Guys, what does this mean?

 

* * *

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

Wait, who the hell is @terrymcginnis?

 

**Terry Mcginnis @terrymcginnis**

@Nightwing_Official Wait a couple years and   
you’ll find out

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

@terrymcginnis This sounds vaguely threatening?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter isnt going to make any sense to someone who hasnt heard [the dynamic duet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8-OO6TPj7Q) from holy musical b@man lmao (but pls do its a great musical)
> 
> you are my bro! mi amigo! and where i go is where you go!


	8. [homer simpson voice] NEEEEEEEERD!

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

Hey nobody say anything but @TheRedHood is   
actually a massive nerd.

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

They collect first edition novels and then tries   
to convince me why ‘you have to read books in   
their original language or it’s pointless’.

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

They learnt French just to read The Count of Monte   
Cristo.

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

Their favourite book is Pride and Prejudice and they cries   
everytime they reads/watches it

 

**sidney @queensid**

@Nightwing_Offcial holy shit this some great info,   
got anything else?

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

They forced @batman to read every E.M Forster novel.

 

**sidney @queensid**

@Nightwing_Offcial ahahaha ofc they did

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**

@Nightwing_Offcial hmmm it seems like i need make   
an impromptu visit to bludhaven :)

 

**Nightwing @Nightwing_Official**

Uh oh

 

* * *

 

 

 **Batman @batman**  
  
@Nightwing_Official @TheRedHood It wasn't so bad, I   
very much enjoyed Maurice and A Room With A View.

 

 **Batman @batman**  
  
@TheRedHood Also please don't kill your brother.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for going awol i had like no ideas for this fic


	9. edgyhood

**Blüdhaven PD @BludhavenPD**

  
Sad News: Our own Officer Dick Grayson   
was harmed last night helping citizens   
escape Scarecrows newest attack. He is   
expected to make a full recovery.

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**

@BludhavenPD

**dick(head)ie grayson @bitchardgayson**

 

@TheRedHood ur so mean :’(

 

**Red Hood @TheRedHood**

 

@bitchardgayson suck it up circus boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bc i didnt post for such a long time heres 2 chapters at once <3

**Author's Note:**

> ik in canon they probably would never get twitter or any kind of social media but i keep reading the avengers twitter fics and really wanted some batfam twitter goodness


End file.
